Techniques I am Currently Using to Change Negative Thinking, Accomplish Goals, and Make Positive Changes In My Life

The need to feel better, do things different, and be healed of a diseased mind takes a lot of work, time and energy. In order for change to happen one needs to be open, ready and willing to do the work it takes to have different experiences. Below you will see some of the tools I am currently using to accomplish goals and live an authentic life.

First, write  down a list of all the things you would like to improve, accomplish, or start practicing. This will be your goal list. My list consisted of the following:

        Change my thought patterns
        Stop procrastinating
        Be solution focused
        Learn to be an effective communicator
        Exercise
        Travel

These are the "big picture" goals. This is a list you can always add to as you find new things you would like to change or accomplish.

When you have a list going number each goal from 1-4. 1 being the most important to work on and 4 being the least important. For example:

        Change my thought patterns (1)
        Stop procrastinating (1)
        Be solution focused (1)
        Learn to be an effective communicator (1)
        Exercise (2)
        Travel (4)

From this point I like to choose 2-3 things that are 1's and 2 things that are 2-4's. This helps to balance things out a little. Challenging work should be balanced with pleasurable work. Once you pick 4-6 things you want to work on for the week, then you need to organize it. You will organize your goals by writing each one down and listing how can you accomplish each goal . For example:

•  Change my thought patterns

• how? Write  down negative thoughts as much as possible and write a positive to each negative. Then go over all the positives daily.

If you are unsure of how you will accomplish a goal, write down "research it" and make a list of all your findings.

From here I like to use an agenda to keep myself organized and to make sure I accomplish or worked on each goal. Pick one or a few strategies to accomplish each goal. Here's an example of my agenda:

9am - write negative thoughts throughout the day*
10am - class
11am - class
12pm - make a list of boundary statements* read them over and practice throughout the day
1pm - exercise*
2pm - write negative thoughts*
3pm - make calls
4pm -
5pm - dinner
6pm -
7pm - write positives to the negatives* and read them over
8pm - read self-help book*

It's important to make yours tackle your goals in a realistic manner. Making them unrealistic will set you back and result in not following through. Also, making them to easy can also slow your progression down.

Also keep in mind that some goals you might have to carry forward for days, weeks or months depending on how much work has to be done. As long as you stick to it, it will improve and you will see and feel changes.

Give it a shot and see how it works for you!

Living Anxious - The Effects of Child Abuse

Child abuse is bullying. It's "I'm bigger and superior, therefore I don't need to respect you" kind of an attitude. It destroys, it dehumanizes, desensitizes, it disqualifies and it lacks love. Child abuse is senseless and ineffective. Child abuse is counterproductive and creates more problems in the world. Unresolved child abuse can lead to anxiety as an adult.Child abuse breaks down children and destroys self-confidence, trust, and healthy thinking.Although, some children manage to grow up and be functional adults, there are still issues that may arise and hinder progression.

The effects of child abuse as an adult start to reveal itself as I get older and try to maintain functional relationships and survive in this world. Living anxious is not pleasant and tends to get worse as issues are not dealt with. Being anxious about living is not living and makes it extremely hard to enjoy the simple things in life. Anxiety has effected my life in many areas, this includes:

*Social Anxiety - I am anxious/ nervous around people I am unfamiliar with. I am scared about being perceived a certain way. I am Anxious about large groups of people in open or closed spaces.
*Anxiety about trying something new - I have fears about failing, so I do not try.
*Anxiety about completing tasks - I believe I wont complete the task perfectly, therefore I may never attempt the task.
*Anxiety about communicating - I might sound ignorant or I'll take to long to formulate sentences, so I won't talk.
*Anxiety about responsibility - I might fail at being responsible or I might disappoint.
*Anxiety about confrontation - I don't want to hurt any ones feelings so I wont talk about an issue, even if it hurts me.
*Anxiety to share my emotions - It might be perceived wrong, or it might hurt someone elses feelings. Expressing my emotions also means volnurability, which is something I'm not entirely comfortable with.
*Anxiety about problem solving - I'm afraid my solutions might not work.

My anxieties are fears of the unknown. Although, anxiety makes no sense and serves no positive purpose it is a horrible practice I have managed to endure for years. It has deprived me of so much in my life, it sets limits, and keeps me stagnant. At times, anxiety drowns me and creates a fog, where I am unable to see any form of light. Even though anxiety is poison, it also brings a sense of comfort; because it's familiar since I've had anxiety for so long.

However, it is not something I want to continue to entertain. Anxiety not only hurts emotionally and mentally but it also effects me physically. Being anxious creates a lot of tension in my body. With tension comes physical pain and ache (rigid muscles and joints), restlessness and digestive problems.

Anxiety long-term can and will lead to depression if not dealt with and other physical ailments. Moreover, my anxiety also effects the people close to me. They have to also endure my perceptions of the world, which is not fare.

I want to be free of anxiety; of senseless fear. I want to be free of pain from my childhood. I want to live present and enjoy each moment at least most of the time.

And so, through lots of patience and guidance I am fortunate to have an opportunity to grow and learn how to deal with anxiety. Everyday is a challenge, but as long as I utilize tools I have been provided with I will succeed.
Some tools I've been introduced to, to cope with anxiety are:
*Journaling - Keeping track of thoughts and feelings as they happen.
*Communicating more - Expressing my feeling and thoughts to people I trust. They might be able to offer a different perspective.
*Keeping a list of coping activities in my wallet to help manage anxiety. This includes reading something motivational, listening to happy music, push ups, walking the dog, playing with children.
* Action - Doing what makes you anxious is the only way to get over it, the more you do it the easier it gets.